Ramblings About Power & Status
I am growing increasingly aware of and sick of the role power plays in society. I’m not necessarily talking about political power, but power & status in every day interactions between people. Demonstrating some skill, or knowing some fact, to make yourself look better. Finding activities or conversation topics that make yourself look more skillful, knowledgeable or interesting while doing the opposite to whoever you are with. There is a constant struggle for supremacy and gamesmanship that seems to occur. Looking down your nose at someone for dressing differently, acting differently, speaking differently. If you think this kind of status-seeking behavior is unique to middle school students you are dead wrong. The world of adults is infested with it. Those who play the game most earnestly are the ones who rise to the top. In my experience CEOs, politicians, and successful leader types the world over are constantly playing these power games to build themselves up and put others down. One reason I don’t want to run for elected office is I don’t think I’d like the person I’d have to become to be successful at it.
Not to say that the “lower rungs of humanity” are exempt from this. For some reason I’ve noticed that folks of a geekier/nerdier persuasion (we’re all a little nerdy) often familiarize themselves with certain favorite movies, tv shows, or other parts of popular (or unpopular) culture. Sometimes people will quote from a movie and attempt to illicit similar quotes from you as well, to prove that you are as familiar with the movie as they are. It is a common game people play in conversation. If you can quote it then you both try to find more obscure quotes to upstage the other. If you don’t know any quotes than the person who initiated it “wins points” against you. So often, if you don’t know it you will respond by putting down the game or saying it was a dumb movie in the first place, thus trying to make yourself look better for not knowing the quotes. Very rarely do I ever observe someone just say “nope, I’m not familiar with that movie” they have to justify themselves so they don’t lose face.
Things like correcting grammar fits as well, because you are putting them down for using incorrect grammar and demonstrating your superior knowledge. In fact almost everytime I’ve ever seen a person correct or criticize another person’s speech, behavior, dress or other aspect it seems to be either partially or totally an attempt to put them down and build up the status or position of the criticizer. On the flip side people often seem to have too much pride to ever admit they are wrong.
But I’m part of this world. Not only in that I have no where else to go, to escape from this endless game of posturing, but I’m also a product of it and responsible for my own share of put-downs and status building attempts. One thing I’ve noticed is that when I am around people who are dumber or less competent than I am, I feel better about myself. When I am around people who are smarter, more successful, or confident, I feel worse about myself. I play the game just like anyone else. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but it bothers me either way. When I get tired of the endless jockeying for position and check out of the game, my self-esteem takes a hit for acquiescing to someone else’s push for status. When I get my hands dirty in the game myself, I feel bad for being an arrogant tool (while at the same time feeling better from the self-esteem boost that comes from being an arrogant tool).
I read an interesting article the other day that seems to address this idea in relation to Darwinism and procreation. The article focuses on bigger issues such as crime & wealth, but the same concept might be involved in the basic, low-level friction in inter-personal relationships. In my experience though there are plenty of women who engage in this same kind of behavior, so I’m hesitant to blame it all on some biological, evolutionary quest for booty.
Even if this quest for power & status started with a base biological way to impress women, it seems to have expanded beyond it. I see it in online forums, I see it in basic day-to-day interactions with virtually everyone. There is a constantly evolving pecking order & hierarchy that all people fall into.
From a youth rights perspective, being a parent is the ultimate power-trip. If someone like me feels better about himself being around less-capable people, imagine how strong someone feels caring for a baby, or how agile they feel watching over a toddler, or how smart they feel talking to a pre-schooler. Perhaps part of the wisdom behind the statement of “those who can’t do, teach” is that some teachers perhaps have had enough of the endless competition with peers and find it easier to boost their status by comparing themselves to students over whom they have much control over. Though, from what I hear, the situation between teachers and between teachers & the administration is just as cut-throat and aggravating as the rest of the world.
Looking at students themselves, much of John Holt’s observations about school seems to revolve around the impact of shame, guilt & fear of failure. Not wanting to look dumb in front of other students or the teacher. Holt’s analysis gels very well with my school experiences and my own observations of students currently dealing with school.
I remember reading at least part of The Celestine Prophecy many years ago, and one of the points made in the book that at the time rang true for me is (quoting from Wikipedia):
To gain energy, we tend to manipulate or force others to give us attention and thus energy. When we successfully dominate others in this way, we feel more powerful, but they are left weakened and often fight back. Competition for scarce human energy is the cause of all conflict between people.
It is really the only thing I remember from the book and, putting aside any other spiritual mumbo-jumbo in the book, it still seems just as true to me now. The idea that a core element of human behavior and society involves dominating others is frustrating and disturbing.
Unfortunately I don’t have anything more insightful or profound to add. No revolutionary conclusions or solutions. Plus I’m far from the first person to point this out, and heck, with my poor memory maybe I’ve even pointed this out on my blog before, who knows. But I suppose the feeling that I need to write something wholly original or make some point better, stronger, and clearer than anyone else is part of the problem.